I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
