ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
