I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
