I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
