He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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