Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
