i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
