ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
