I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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