why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize