a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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