I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
