I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
