I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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