When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
