Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
