There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
