the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
a search helicopter?!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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