First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
