you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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