1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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