I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
