I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
