Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
