Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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