We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
