Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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