White coat. Heels.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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