you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
