i jhust puked up my retainher.
...so i touched it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
