PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
