i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
