Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
