So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
