on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
