i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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