No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize