I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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