I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im six kinds of drunk right now
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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