I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just cropdusted the office
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
