We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
