i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
