Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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