she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
