wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
