I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
