Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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