Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
