Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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