Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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