I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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