You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
