Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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