Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
