North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
