He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
