The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
