Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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