I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
