i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
