I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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