I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
