Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
