I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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