4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
