yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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