Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
